Oh my! Get prepared for barbecue sandwiches!

Now, mind you that when I say barbecue sandwiches, I am not actually referring to some exotic meat that has been lightly cooked over coals or wood, with that smoky barbecue flavor. Oh no, not at all. I am talking about two pieces of Wonder Bread, smushed together with a little bit of KC Masterpiece barbecue sauce in between. No meat. No cheese. No leafy green to make it somehow less pathetic. Just bread and barbecue sauce. Mmmm.

What would drive a man to eat such a thing? Is Stacy not providing for her husband? No, Stacy is doing just fine. In fact, she actually does her best to help avert impending barbecue gloom. But when she goes on trips, I am left to fend for myself. First, the microwave meals go. We like Amy's Enchilada Pie. Those are tasty, and I recommend them to anyone - not just guys stuck at home without a thing to eat. They are a nice blend of cheese, fake tortilla, and the obligatory red sauce that makes an enchilada, well, an enchilada.

But when the microwave meals are gone, all bets are off. Peanut butter is usually the next to go. I will slather a bit on some bread and choke down a peanut butter sammy. After that? The rice goes next. We have Unce Ben's microwavable rice. That stuff rocks. When it is gone? I like to call it Bachelor Roulette - you just don't know what kind of food I will end up swallowing down.

One trip a while back, I ended up putting the aforementioned barbecue sauce on some bread. Yum. Barbecue sauce is sweet and tasty. Bread? Well, it gave me a place to put the sauce. Stacy was pretty apalled when I told her. The worst part? I didn't tell her that when the bread was gone, I was eating barbecue sauce burritos. You figure it out.