Grossest thing ever

I have been a guy all... well, most of my life anyway. I have been in locker rooms. I have been around sports nearly all my life. I have seen my own ankle bend in ways that would make even the most sturdy folks cringe a little bit. I have cut things, broken things, and injured things in ways that are sometimes unimaginable. On top of that, I have seen some horrific injuries. I watched a buddy break his femur (yeah, the big leg bone) right in two... it just snapped. I watched intently as they drilled a hole in his leg... yes, a hole. And it wasn't a power drill or anything. We are talking hand drill. I watched while the nurses turned away.

So with all of that in mind, what is the grossest thing I have ever seen? My friend Keith has Sharks season tickets with me (we actually have 3 seats with a third guy named Rich). He plays hockey, and apparently he hit his elbow on the ice a while back. The result? Bursitis.

Ok, so what is bursitis? The only way to explain it is this. Imagine that there was a little Bob the Builder inside his elbow. And if Bob were to stick his entire head out of Keith's elbow, that is what it looks like. Here is a picture from Wikipedia:

Now, mind you, this is the definition of bursitis. You would think the picture would be one of the more horrifying things you would see. No. Not at all. This picture is an ant hill to Keith's Everest. This picture is a Pee Wee football game to Keith's Super Bowl. This picture is Twizzlers to Keith's Red Vines.

When I first saw Keith's... uhhh... little person in his elbow, I freaked out. When he started rubbing it on me, I giggled in disgust. When he started making it talk, ok, that just creeped me out. I haven't slept well in weeks.

So the next time you see someone break something or maybe slice something off or even step in something gross, don't turn your head in disgust. No, stare at it a little longer, and remember that what you have seen is nothing like Keith's little Bob the Builder. But fortunately for us all, we are left remembering the immortal words of one Mr. Builder, "Bob the Builder, can we fix it? Bob the Builder, YES WE CAN!"